Motherhood right now is a constant stream of flowing back and forth between both kids. Don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful stream to be in. I am very slowly learning that motherhood is my cross I am carrying. The boo boos, bath time, tantrums, rocking a baby back forth all day long, the dirt, the trucks, the diaper changes- all the good and the bad. It's my cross.

I haven't found adding another baby to the mix has necessarily been hard, but there are hard moments. How do I give attention to both of them when they need me?  I found out very quickly that when both were upset or needed something at the same time, I would have to 'pick' between the two. That really tore me apart. I found myself wondering how can I help them both? Can I grow more hands? A lot of the time I was having to help Clara first since she is still so little and I can't let her cry for that long. That was an adjustment for Grayson as well.

Grayson has taken to Clara from the start. He is anxiously awaiting the day where she is really playing with him. We have found it comforting for him to hear stories from when he was the baby. It helps him in some way. The first words out of his mouth in the morning are, "Clara's awake??" He is constantly laying next to her, helping her do tummy time, showing her his trucks. He really loves her and it has been such a joy for both Will and I to see them interact. She lights up when he comes in the room. Of course, being 2, there have been hard moments. We are working through toddler emotions here and sometimes those can be big. So, we have found he does best with having a little one on one time with us + some extra affection.

It has been such a joy to a Mom for a second time. Although my days are busy with these two, I have found myself slowing down and not doing as many activities because I want to enjoy time with them. I have been more intentional about several aspects of my life since Clara was born so that I don't feel stretched thin between being a Wife and a Mom. I also have given myself a lot more grace this time around than I did with Grayson.

I truly feel so blessed.

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