I haven't really shared an update on our infertility struggle, mainly because there isn't one. We are still carrying this cross. It's been such a hard season of letting go, and moving forward in to the unknown.

This month has been a little different because I feel like I've surrendered. Not surrendered trying, but surrendered in planning the future and dwelling with what we don't have. 

Carrying this cross is hard in a million different ways. But, I've let it consume me, control me and let it dictate my feelings. I can't allow that anymore. Yes, we want another child more than anything, but we have so much good right now, right in front of us. 

Some days it feels like God has abandoned us. But, as I have reflected on this journey, I've realized that couldn't be further from the truth. 

He is shaping me, molding me, and transforming me. I am a different person than I was 10 months ago. 

I truly believe we will be blessed with more children. In time. We will keep praying. 

But, until that time, we can learn to carry this cross with grace, love and peace. Knowing that God is our salvation. 

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