12.8.16

WHAT CAN I DO?



What can I do to help?

That is the question asked to me the most during this season of secondary infertility.

Really? There isn't a whole lot anyone can do.

But, I do have a few ideas that may help if you have a friend or family member going through something similar and you're at a loss of what to do.

Pray.
Pray for God's will to be done & for peace and understanding of His will.

Most of the time, I just want someone to listen. I have so many feelings about this situation we are in, and it does help to get those feelings out, so that they aren't built up inside of me.

This sort of goes along with the listening, but check-in with your friend or family member. See how they are doing or what's going on. If they don't feel like talking about, that's okay- let them know you're there whenever.

& On the other side, here's what you shouldn't say:

This first one is solely for those dealing secondary infertility.

-At least you have *enter name of first child*

This is so hurtful. We know how blessed we are to have our first child, but it doesn't take the pain away from wanting to grow your family.

-Don't stress or don't think about it too much.

First, this is impossible. No matter how much you try to not think about it, it's always there. Secondly, all I hear when someone says this is, it's your fault. You are the one causing this.

So, although your intentions may be good when you say certain comments. Please, please think twice before you open your mouth. Think twice when you see a Mom with 1 kid and you ask her when they want to try for a second baby.

Remember, a lot of the times you don't need to say anything, you need to be there.

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