18.2.16

MOTHERHOOD: YEAR ONE

I've had this in my drafts for about a month now. Sure, we've been busy, but honestly, when I had time to open this and write something, I couldn't think of the right words to type.

It's been a life changing year. No words, really, can sum it all up.


We've had several people ask us about life pre-parenthood. There was a life before Grayson? :)
Honestly, Will and I hadn't stopped to really think about it. It is truly hard to remember what our life was like. I'll tell you one thing, we probably slept a lot better :)

But, our smile and laughs are bigger and longer, we do worry about everything, but, the worry has increased our prayers and communication with Jesus. We are absolutely far more emotional than we've ever been. We make crazy noises to make our kid laugh and go to bed at 9 p.m.

& We wouldn't change a thing- even the sleep part.


He has only been our son for a year, just 365 days. (& some change- 9 months in utero), but it feels like we've known him for eternity and at the same time we are still getting to know him. His little personality blooming each day.

Sensitive, funny, charming, a do it myself personality.

Sometimes, I'll catch myself looking at his face and really studying it. Soaking in all of the beautiful details to store in my memory. His big round blue eyes staring back at me, his big mischievous smile getting bigger.

I've watched that face grow right before my very eyes. From this squirmy newborn, to this very curious 1 year old. The face is so new to me still at times. A face we were SO curious about for 9 months. What would our little one look like? It was always you.


Motherhood opened a flood gate of love, happiness and pure joy. These three feelings I've felt throughout my whole life, but, this time, they feel different. They feel bigger, and louder. It feels like your heart is exposed to the whole world.

It is truly the scariest feeling.

Motherhood also exposed my weaknesses as well. Patience being the biggest one. A year later I am still working on it, getting my feet on the ground. Patience is one of those feelings I'll be working on the rest of my life, but we are taking baby steps in progress.

Each year, motherhood will change for me. As The Lord hopefully blesses us with more children, each year will bring a new phase for me as a Mom. One that will look a little different than the last.

In 2015, I grew as a wife, daughter, sister and friend. It was also the year I became a Mom.

Never again will I have an experience like this past year.

"Motherhood is the most completely humbling experience I’ve ever had. It puts you in your place, because it really forces you to address the issues that you claim to believe in — and if you can’t stand up to those principles when you’re raising a child, forget it."
Diane Keaton

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