11.8.15

ON FINDING SELF-WORTH



Self-worth is such a funny thing. Learning to love and accept you. You would think that would come naturally, right? We probably loved ourselves more when we were kids-no one doubting us and not care in the world about what the future holds. Why can't we carry that into teenage and adulthood? My journey to finding my self-worth hasn't come without a few bumps and bruises. I've never spoken to anyone about this because I didn't fully understand the feelings I was having until recently. In both high school and college I dealt with stints where I didn't think I was worthy of anything good. In high school it was more of the, "I've got braces, zits and I'm awkwardly tall," So I didn't find myself attractive at all. In college, it was after ending a long-term relationship where I found myself lost and confused. Everything I had known for the last four years had changed in instant, along with my self-worth. It took a year of soul searching and meeting Will (again) to really put myself back together. I so wish I could go back to old me and just give myself a big hug. Tell myself that it WILL be ok and life gets so much more beautiful. But, if I hadn't gone through that journey both times, would I be in the position I am today? I have no way of knowing. And while I'm still on my journey of loving myself, I have found a place of happiness and solitude in my vocation as a wife and mother. Both being a wife and mom have brought me closer to the Lord and in return I have found peace and love for myself. I learned to lean on him more than ever in times of doubt. So to those of you thinking you aren't worthy of anything good in this world-you are. It doesn't mean you need to run off and get married and have kids to find that you are worthy. It may come after a few bumps and bruises, but you will realize it and you will find peace.

The Lord is loves you, even when you don't necessarily love yourself.

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